The Status Woe

Rising above mediocrity one mishap at a time

What are you doing with the second half of your life? AKA Your Second life?

on November 28, 2012

I ordinarily wrote this for the Museum of Motherhood‘s MamaBlogger365 project

I know I’m not the only one who likes to stroll through a cemetery on a nice day. There is one by my house that is on rolling hills and partially in the woods. The monuments are old, and the buildings have iron doors with big hinges. It feels very historical and lovely. Let me pause to just tell you that I am in NO way “sensitive” to spirits. I never have and DO NOT see dead people. For me, it’s just a lovely place to ponder those who have passed.

Photo Credit

On one of the first warm days of spring last year, I was walking through the cemetery with my friend Tiffany. She was pointing out all of the people who had died in their thirties and forties. I suppose that wasn’t entirely uncommon at the turn of the century (last century, that is).

She then mentioned that she thinks of her age (30+) as her second life because so many of these people only had one life and it ended early.


She is exactly right. Historically it’s been rare for someone to live to be 100 years old. Just before 1900, the life expectancy was just under forty for both men and women.

Okay, so I’m living MY second life.

I’m living a life that many of those good people in the cemetery may have wished they had the opportunity to live. I was literally awake an entire night pondering this. Not just for me, but for all of us. Those who are my age-ish are all working on their second lives. So what does that mean? Here are some of my thoughts…

  • You may be an entirely different person in your second life than you were in your first life.
  • You’re first life relationships may be incompatible with your second life.
  • Your second life may bring a career change.
  • Your second life may bring a change in your marriage status.
  • Your second life may be defined by new goals.
  • You may want to start a new family.
  • You may want to take on new educational endeavors.
  • You may want to sell all of your earthly possessions and sail the world.
  • Second life is an opportunity to be more altruistic, generous, and awesome.
  • Your second life is a gift.

So let me talk about parenting for a minute. For the most part, parenting is a first-life endeavor. It also is a brief one. Brief in the terms that it’s only eighteen years-ish of real ‘hands-on’ work. I wish the older, wiser, second-life me could go back and help first-life me but in all honesty, first-life me did a pretty good job.

I’ve learned a few parenting lessons along the way. My daughter is disabled by autism. I will continue to care for her through my second life but maybe I can offer some support to the first-life mothers who are struggling with autism.

Second-life me is going to be an awesome grandparent. With expectations of good health, I hope to help my children with their children. And I should! “Parent” is one title that transfers over to second life.

I hope this resonates with some of you. If it does, please comment and let me know your thoughts. Best Wishes!

Kelli Stapleton


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